It's been awhile since I've let you into my heart. Where do I begin?

Well, as some of you may know I am an avid ultimate frisbee player and have been playing the sport for six years. M is also a player, but not just any player. He is a gold medalist at the 2013 U-23 World Championships, a silver medalist at College Nationals, and a finalist for the college-level MVP award.

Beyond championships, wins and losses, ultimate frisbee is a community of friends across the country that are near and dear to our hearts. When M&I moved to San Antonio, finding the local ultimate community was our first priority and we succeeded. I jumped into a coaching role at a small college and even M helps me teach the girls how to play.

I love playing ultimate frisbee, but I have decided to hang up my cleats.

One of my 2016 goals was making the Texas Women's Team, Showdown. Showdown was awarded 4th best team in the WFDF World Championships last year and 6th best team in the United States at Club Nationals. Needless to say, these women are fierce and I have been training for six years to have the opportunity to be fierce with them.

Unfortunately, after three rigorous weekends of invite only try-outs, I did not make the team.

My friends, I am heartbroken. I am defeated. As a Christian, I admit that I was angry with God. I felt as though he had given me false hope. I felt that he dangled my dreams in front of me only to turn away just as I reached out to grab them.

But, God loves me. His plans are greater than my dreams.

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV      

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. 

Friends, while I struggle to believe these words now, I encourage you to remember this verse when you feel defeated or heartbroken. He is there for each one of us and we are to trust in Him. I am afraid of moving on from a dream that I have been focusing on for many years. I've always had this to look forward to and now, I am not sure where to set my sights. God asks us to focus on His love and His plan for us. Will you do that with me?

As I wrote back in January, "Don't pick up the confetti, Eryn. The party isn't over. You've seen nothing yet!"